Jesus' Enduring Questions: Simon, son of John, do you love me?

Jesus’ Enduring Questions: Do you love me? John 21:15-19

During this Lenten season, we’ve been exploring Jesus’ penetrating questions throughout this series, the way Jesus comes to us not first with answers, but with questions that expose our hearts. Let’s consider today’s question found in John 21:1-19

But to get there, we need to feel where the disciples are. It's after the crucifixion. They watched Jesus die on Friday. They spent the weekend in their feelings -- grief, confusion, fear. And then something impossible happened. Jesus appeared to them in the upper room. He breathed on them and imparted the Holy Spirit. He was alive.

But then he left. He disappeared. And now what? The shock of the resurrection is behind them, but they're still trying to make sense of everything. So they return to what they know. They return to what feels comfortable. Peter says, "I'm going fishing," and the others say, "We'll go with you."

This is where we pick up in John 21. This is the third appearance in John’s gospel. And it's a different kind of appearance than the upper room. The upper room was dramatic -- locked doors, sudden presence, the breath of God. This one is quieter. They're out on the water. They've been fishing all night. They've caught nothing.

And then someone calls out from the shore: "Friends, haven't you caught any fish?" They say no. The voice says, "Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you'll find some." They do, and the net fills with so many fish they can't haul it in.

That's when John says it. "It is the Lord."

And Peter -- the moment he hears those words -- he wraps his outer garment around himself and plunges into the water.

I wonder if the reason that Peter plunges into the water ahead of the other disciples was borne of his need to try to make things right with Jesus. He swims the 90 meters instead of waiting in the boat with the others. Does this give us a clue about the condition of his heart, a picture into his mind. Maybe, if I can get a moment alone with him, I can explain why I abandoned him. Maybe, I can finally tell him that I was scared to die. Maybe, just maybe.

Friends, if you are like me, you have people in your life who left before you could make things right again, and you are full of regret, with pain, and sorrow. So, when John said, "It is the Lord." Peter, thought, this is my moment. I can make this right. I can fix what I screwed up. I just need a moment alone with Jesus.

15When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?”

Maybe Peter wanted to start the conversation, to try to make things right, but Jesus has his own questions for Peter.

Let's consider the humanity of Jesus for a moment. He was hurt, not just in death, but he was wounded emotionally. In this way, Jesus shares in our own experiences of betrayal, abandonment, not just by his friends, but also by "his parent."

Where most of us don't see our betrayal and abandonment coming, Jesus had a sense of what was going to unfold, and knew that he needed "ride or dies" to share the burden with and instead of sharing the burden, his friends denied even knowing him.

So, maybe Jesus' question to Simon Peter is about more than just restoring or forgiving Peter, maybe it's a really real question for Jesus. I hear Jesus saying, "Simon, I was hurt by you, betrayed by you, abandoned by you.So, Simon, can I trust myself with you?”

Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?

Peter responds, “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."

There is so much hope in this exchange, I can hardly contain myself. Jesus, hurt both emotionally and physically, is here before his friend, who betrayed and abandoned him, offering a chance to make things right. There's so much hope here for me because in this exchange I hear that no matter what we’ve done, no matter where we’ve been, no matter what, we have an opportunity for restoration.

16Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

What did Peter know about himself before this interchange on the beach with Jesus? Does this moment help reveal that Peter was trusting himself and his assumptions about how God would act on his behalf? Was he remembering when he rebuked Jesus for saying that he had to die? Peter rebuked Jesus because only failed messiahs died on the cross in Rome. "Never, Lord! This shall never happen to you!" No ambiguity there.

Here's Jesus right here before him having gone through death to the other side. Resurrection.

Maybe when Jesus asks, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Jesus is asking, are you still trusting yourself and your assumption about how God will act, or are you willing to trust me now?

Peter answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”

Instead of this painful exchange between Peter and Jesus, where Jesus unpacks for Peter all of the ways he has let Jesus down, I'd prefer for Jesus to just forgive and restore Peter. But the restoration actually takes some effort.

As we read this story, we are moving back and forth in time. Because of John, we have a lot of insight into this exchange. At this point, I wonder what Simon Peter is hearing when Jesus asks a second time, "Simon Peter, do you love me?" Has he grasped that Jesus is asking him the questions that were put to Simon at the fire when he denied Jesus three times. Or is Peter thinking about all of the times he asserted that he would never fail or abandon Jesus? Or was he remembering when he wept bitterly (Luke 22:62) after Jesus made eye contact with him as he was being led away.

Peter answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”

The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?”

You can imagine Peter standing there, having denied the Lord three times, having seen all the things he did, heard all the things he did, having participated with Jesus in his public ministry: having seen the miracles, perform some himself, walked on water, seen the transfiguration all of that is coming back to Peter… Peter is realizing that he is ruined, he is broken, it invokes an emotional response, of course Peter is hurt… he has seen what he has done, maybe it's only after the third time does he finally get it… he sees how he has walked away… how he let his fear rule him…

I believe it takes three times before Peter is able to access the pain and hurt he caused Jesus.

So Peter answers the Lord, "you know all things…" It's his plea, "I can’t say it any better, I don’t know how to express it anymore, I get it. I see the pain I caused you. I am sorry that I have walked away, you know that I love you."

Jesus says, “feed my sheep.”

I understand Peter‘s fear of state sponsored violence because of who he is, because of where he is, and because of who he associates with. But Jesus in the resurrection says to Peter, and to us, you don’t have to fear death. For Peter the inevitability of death was the thing that seemed unmovable in his life. God, in Jesus through the resurrection, says death is nothing to be afraid of. Go back into the world with a very dangerous gift: hope in the power of God.

Resurrected Jesus meets us where we are. He walked along the road, he had breakfast with his those who betrayed him. There isn’t a place that you “should” be to meet Jesus, there is only the place you are, and the way Jesus is present for you in that moment. There is nothing about you, your family, your relationship status, your education, your finances, your appearance, your lifestyle, that puts you off limits to Jesus showing up and asking,"do you love me?"